Virtual memory fragmentation in Exchange (Event Id 9582)

I preach and I whine and I write and I advise, yet still, I hear about this and see this in production regularly. Event ID 9582 pops up (possibly even hourly) showing a warning (or worse an error) advising you that virtual memory is fragmented and performance may be affected. Some admins have even reported to me that they have to reboot Exchange once a week. Below is two samples of these events (schmoozed directly from KB 883527)

Event ID: 9582
Event Type: Error
Event Source: MSExchangeIS
Event Category: Performance
Event ID: 9582
Description: The virtual memory necessary to run your Exchange server is fragmented in such a way that normal operation may begin to fail. It is highly recommended that you restart all Exchange services to correct this issue.

Event ID: 9582
Event Type: Warning
Event Source: MSExchangeIS
Event Category: PerformanceEvent ID: 9582
Description: The virtual memory necessary to run your Exchange server is fragmented in such a way that performance may be affected. It is highly recommended that you restart all Exchange services to correct this issue.

This is happening because Exchange 2000 or 2003 is running on Windows on a machine with more than 1GB of RAM. This is easily fixed if you are running Windows 2003, see KB 823440. If you are running Windows 2000 Advanced Server, see KB 8328882. If you are running Windows 2000 Datacenter and this is not configured, you need to fire the "qualified" person that set it up for you. If you are running Windows 2000 Server, you need to re-install the OS (not upgrade) to Windows 2000 Advanced Server. Or better yet, upgrade to Exchange 2003, then upgrade the OS to Windows 2003 Server or higher. Then, follow the advice in KB 823440.