Sunday, April 06, 2008

Anti-social networking

Tired of social networking? Do people with a sunny outlook just get on your nerves? Do you want to let everyone in the world just how evil your co-worker really is? Is the Facebook generation getting on your nerves? Maybe it is time for hatebook.com, enemybook.info, or snubster.com. Enemybook.info allows you to "classify" your enemies and "keep your friends close, and keep your enemies closer". Hatebook.com is "an open forum for abuse and aggression" and snubster.com allows you to put your enemies "on notice" or that they are "dead to me."

I'm certainly not the guy with a sunny disposition (at least not first thing in the morning). I usually somewhat upbeat and positive but with a sarcastic edge. However, I think one of these sites might be great fun to make up some evil (and humorous) things about my "enemies". I already have some entries for my hatebook:
  • Devin Ganger turned my dog against me with crack-laced kibble.
  • Julie Samante hacked the phone company and had the Crack Ho's Anonymous Hotline redirected to my home phone.
  • David Elfassy replaced my shampoo with Nair
  • Songsak Yongyingsakthaworn loosened the bindings on my skis before I went off the "widow maker" slope
  • Bharat Suneja convinced my kids that I was Carlos the Jackal.
  • Mike Brown photoshopped Osama bin Laden and me on to a picture with Britney Spears and sent it to my boss.
  • Paul Robichaux replaced the air in my scuba tanks with laughing gas.
  • Jordan Chang put itching powder in all my shoes
  • Peter O'Dowd removed the lug nuts from the tires on my SUV before I went off-roading on Kilimanjaro
  • Dan Holme had me put on a "no fly" list
  • Stan Haskell started the rumor about Angelina Jolie and me so now I have to have a restraining order to keep Brad Pitt from beating me up
  • Matt Suriya told the Paparazzi where to find me WHILE Brad Pitt was beating me up
  • Mark Spotswood blew that whole "Jennifer Anniston-restraining-order-thing" out proportion.
  • Clay Kamiya told my neighbors that I was going to vote for Ralph Nader. Now I can't leave the house without being egged.
  • Ben Schorr tricked me in to an audition for Queer Eye for the Straight guy; they rejected me and told me there was nothing they could do to help me.
  • Kevin Wile steals my newspaper every morning.
  • Ryan Tung told me to buy Enron stock and that they were going to turn around
  • Laura Robinson replaced my sunblock with Icy Hot

Too bad I don't have oodles of free time, I could make a bigger "enemies" list. :-)

2 Comments:

At 8:18 PM, Blogger Russell said...

Whhoooo Hhhhoooo!!! I didn't make the list. :)

 
At 6:43 AM, Blogger Jim McBee said...

And "Russ Kaufmann went over to the "dark side'". :-)

 

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